Posted by WorryGirl on May 11, 2007, at 15:22:06
My sister lost her 1 year old daughter last year in a horrible tragedy. She has not been doing so well. She wasn't doing well before it even happened, and naturally, her only child dying made her previous problems even worse. She has no real relationship with her husband (he has always been emotionally abusive and is now providing no support). The only reason they haven't divorced is because they are co-dependent. She is heavily in debt, and has a problem with alcohol and drugs. She has no home at this time, so has been staying with our mom and dad most of the time. She has already been in rehab several times (once against her will) and we cannot force her into counseling (she just won't talk). Our family has prayed for her, and we just continue trying to be there to support and encourage her. The problem is, we are approaching Mother's Day, what would have been the baby's birthday, and the one-year mark of the baby's death. She is continuing to decline. Every time she enters rehab they end up letting her out. She can't afford those long-term programs where she would stay at least 6 months to a year.
I have children of my own and I know how painful it is when she sees me with my children. She can't even handle going to the mall or anyplace where there are lots of babies. I would do anything to relieve any of her pain (as would all of her family members). Nothing seems to help and no one can force her to go to a counselor to talk about the issues.
I have a therapist, and have brought up some of these issues and naturally, she recommended her seeing a grief counselor. My sister went to a few sessions with one right after the baby died, and never went back.
This is just so hard. I know how it hurts all of us, so I can only imagine how hard it is for her... on second thought, no I can't even imagine.
What else can we do? She is emaciated and we are afraid she will OD or worse the way things continue to go. She'll seem OK for a while, then gets worse each time with the escaping.
poster:WorryGirl
thread:757833
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20070414/msgs/757833.html