Posted by calamityjane on February 17, 2007, at 20:30:50
In reply to Re: Daydreaming they're alive » calamityjane, posted by zenhussy on February 17, 2007, at 10:44:11
> it can be hard to accept that decisions made when we were children often have no basis in reality and are of the child-like mind---magical and fantasy based.
>
> sorry that year 21 has been so difficult. we've gone over a quarter century w/o a parent. it does and doesn't get easier.You know, I used to think that over time my dad's absence wouldnt be as noticeable, but I was completely wrong. In fact, his absence is even more noticeable now than it was when I was 12. A once pleasant relationship with my mother, has now become very bitter. I think this also causes me to miss my dad even more.
There is something else that bothers me as well concerning the fact he has been gone for quite a long time now. (tell me if you have ever had this thought as well) --
I think about the friends listed in his address book, or the coworkers penciled in on his calendar. I think about the fact that even though my dad was very well known at our church, and in our neighborhood, its been so long now that he has been forgotten.
Searching his name on google brings absolutely zero results, despite the fact that he was very active in several different organizations - serving as president, and vice president for two in particular. I know I shouldnt be let down by this - as it does not mean he was not loved and simply lived during a time before technology really took off. But it also means that he's been forgotten to an extent, and it makes me so sad.
poster:calamityjane
thread:733509
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20051017/msgs/733703.html