Posted by calamityjane on February 17, 2007, at 0:16:56
In reply to Lost both parents when I was young, posted by April8 on December 7, 2006, at 1:12:03
I am sorry for what you went through. Its a painful thing to experience. Growing up without a dad, I always felt like I was abnormal - different from all the rest of my friends. I never felt like I fit in, and I was constantly jealous of my friends with seemingly perfect families.
That Everclear song, "father of mine" describes it well, in my opinion, when they say:"I will never be safe, I will never be sane, I will always be weird inside, I will always be lame"
That describes perfectly the way I felt as a child, and still somewhat feel even to this day.
I dont think this type of hurt will ever go away. The one thing that makes me feel better about my situaation is something others have told me in the past. They say that hardships such as yours and mine make you more caring, more down to earth, more empathetic to the sorrow others are going through.I have a friend who never has had one traumatic experience. well, ten years after graduating from high school, she is still quite angry about the fact that she didnt make captain of our school's drill team. She tells me it was the worst thing that ever happened to her - to which I just silently chalk it up to her lack of experience in true pain.
I am proud that I am able to "not sweat the small stuff" because of my past. I will never get over my father's suicide, but I know I am a better person to others because of it....
poster:calamityjane
thread:711080
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20051017/msgs/733505.html