Posted by greenline on November 17, 2006, at 10:59:37
Hi, I am new here. I don't think my problem is one many others have had. To start off, I am 44 years old, almost 45 actually. A year ago my Father left my Mother for another woman and moved to a state far from this one. To say this was out of the blue is an understatement. My parents seemingly had a happy marriage. They had been married 45 years at the time. My Father went to his High School reunion and met some woman he used to date when he was 16 (she is OLDER than my Mom)and has been a widow for about 10 years. Apparently he started chatting with her on the computer and then on a cell phone he purchased for that reason. My Mom who is completely computer illiterate didn't have a clue what was going on. She had nothing to fear any way, (she thought) her marriage was secure. The woman my Dad hooked up with evidently has money. She pays all the bills and for many luxuries my Father never had before. He has a personal trainer, goes to a gym, goes to plays, movies etc. He does things he would never do when he was married to my Mom. He still is married to my Mom actually. The thing is my Father has completely changed from the person he was. He used to be vehemently against living together, adultery etc. He used to care and worry about me, my children, my sister and all our family. Now it seems he couldn't care less if he ever saw any of us again. He hasn't talked to my sister in two months and doesn't seem to care. I try to talk to him, but whenever I express how this all makes me feel he cuts me off. Yet I try over and over again. I can't seem to let it sink into my head that he just doesn't care anymore. I feel a lot of grief over this. He didn't die, he chose to go away and then not to have much contact with us. The man is 70 years old too, I don't know if I will ever see him again and he doesn't seem to care. Should I just cut him out of my life completely? It seems like someone would have to have some sort of mental disorder to do what he has done. I've been taking lots of ativan and sleeping pills to sleep since he left. I already had problems with depression before this happened and this has made it much worse. I know you can't control others but I can't can't seem to get this out of my head. That my own Father doesn't give a damn about me anymore and for no reason. I did nothing to him. How my Mom's taking it is another long story. I have to deal with that too and it's NOT easy :-( Well, thanks for letting me vent.
green
poster:greenline
thread:704528
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20051017/msgs/704528.html