Posted by Mica3 on October 13, 2005, at 17:06:05
Hi,
I'm feeling awful. we hadn't spoken for a year and I feel like this is partly my fault cos he said he couldn't live without me.
I feel so hopeless. I don't have anyone to talk to, I don't want to be a pain with my friends and I don't want to worry my family. Nobody understands. I don't make a difference to anybody. I'm single, just went back to uni (and am failing), no job, I don't own my own home, have no boyfriend, and am 30 years old. My ex and me destroyed each other but we loved each other so much. Even though I didn't want any contact with him again (at the time) I always knew he loved me and what we had was pure. I feel so bad, and so angry with myself because I wasn't more understanding.
Every day I try and think clearly. I'd got into uni, that I must do this cos it's what I want, that one day I'll meet someone nice who wants to be with me as much as I want to be with them. But I can't see any of it happening. I want him back. I can't concentrate, I want to drop out, I need a break, and I'm scared.
I need to understand why he did it.Can anyone help?
poster:Mica3
thread:566536
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20041230/msgs/566536.html