Posted by bimini on April 12, 2005, at 12:39:25
My father was a difficult person. Disagreeable, obstreperous, recalcitrant. I am thankful for his teaching me to question all and everything, for these very traits have brought answers otherwise not sought.
As he fell too ill to hide his pain his pride would not allow him to indulge in pity. His last words to me strong and ready. Mingled with my sadness is admiration for his resolve, pride.
The trip to the funeral was riddled with problems. A freak spring blizzard grounded my plane for 4 hours, prevented landing and caused a 3 hour wait for de-icing of the connecting flight.
The birds were singing when I arrived, where have they been? Or have I not heard their songs. The sun shined warm at arrival and I peeled off those wintry layers. Relatives arrived and brought dark clouds and thunder.
Dressed in white I came as was his wish, the odd one of the mourners at the funeral, it was raining since the night. I felt the need to touch the coffin before it was lowered into the ground. I was standing in the rain, feet sinking into the wet, soft mud, alone. We're all standing alone with our emotions, and then his brother came beside me pouring his grief into the gap, as one we stood and far remote from the world and far from black and rain and thoughts. Love pouring out, tears joining the ones from the clouds. I could have stood like this for hours, but had to help my Mother walk away.
After the relatives left, the sun came out again and the birds were singing. I went back to the grave with my sister and she talked about a black bird coming to the windowsill as she looked. "Is father telling us something?" she asked her husband, and he replied: "is that bird disagreeable, obstreperous, and recalcitrant?" The bird at that moment gave out several loud CRAHH-CRAHHs. Yep, it must be him we all laughed out loud which felt soo good.
His memories are with us, in us, always.The sun was shining until the day of my flight home, the sky was shedding steady rain. The flights I took home had what they called technical diffulties and mechanical malfunctions and delayed arrival 8 or 9 hours. Exhausted and starved!!!I could not help laughing about disagreeable, obstreperous, and recalcitrant airplanes.
bimini
poster:bimini
thread:483326
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20041230/msgs/483326.html