Posted by merry on November 29, 2004, at 20:39:44
I've been having it real rough this whole month. It started out good. I was feeling good. But then my boyfriend tells me he doesn't want to continue our relationship anymore because it's too hard to deal with my bipolar. He wants to focus on his career. He says he loves me but it's just too hard. Then my beloved Aunt dies from a long battle with cancer a few days later. That really gets me down and depressed. I've been crying for days already. The following week my dog breaks into my goose pen and mauls my poor goose,JR. He lives for three days. I did everything I could to save him, but I had to put him down. By then I am totally devastated. This all happens before The Big Family Thanksgiving Dinner. Where all my brothers and sisters gather at mother's house. eight of us along with our children. I didn't feel like going. I was in my depressed episode of my bipolar. I felt like dying. I didn't feel like celebrating. But I went anyway. Obligations! Made the best of it. It cheered me up a little. But once I came home I've been isolating myself ever since. I've been angry and sad. I've been crying and sleeping too much. I can't eat. But then I pig out on junk. I want this all to stop already. I want to feel better now. I hope next month is better. I want to live!!!!
I just wanted to write it down. Maybe it could help me heal.
merry
poster:merry
thread:422030
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20040811/msgs/422030.html