Posted by Shar on September 5, 2004, at 1:39:58
In reply to A letter to my cousin, posted by fallsfall on September 4, 2004, at 21:35:06
I think saying what is in your heart is the most important thing. What you wrote says that you have affection, fondness, a mutual understanding, and appreciation of your favorite cousin. Obviously you know what to say because you just said it:
> this particular cousin is my favorite, the one who I feel closest to. I usually see her every 3 years, when our family had their big reunion. So it isn't like I talk to her all the time. She is a little older than I am, but she had a son who was the same age as my stepson, and they were both "difficult". There was one reunion when her son and my stepson got together - boy, was that trouble! There weren't many in my family who could understand what it was like to be raising a child like that - but we both understood. Then, when the boys were around 12, she and I both had daughters.
>
> I haven't been able to go to the reunions regularly in the last 10 years, due to my depression. I went 6 (?) years ago, but only for a day and a half (that was as long as I could handle staying). I was so glad to see her there.
>
> She had surgery for her cancer 1 1/2 hours away from me 6 months ago. I wanted to go to see her in the hospital, but I couldn't drive that far. I didn't make it to the reunion this year (but she did!), so I didn't see her then either.
>
> I haven't talked to her or sent her email in a long time (mostly because I haven't been feeling very sociable). But I want to send her an email. I'm not sure what to say. I want her to know that I love her.
>I've found, that you don't have to do anything spectacular or incredibly eloquent to say a "good" goodbye to someone who you will obviously miss (and I work with dying people). It's more a matter of letting them know what they meant to you.
Even just forwarding her an email in which you said what you wrote here would be very special to her, I believe, and mean a lot. I think she would appreciate hearing how she helped you/understood when your 'difficult' boys got together, or other memories you have, and that she is your favorite cousin and you will miss her.
I truly encourage you to tell her what you wrote here, whether via email, a phone call or letter.
Take good care,
Shar
poster:Shar
thread:386500
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20040811/msgs/386575.html