Posted by BarbaraCat on July 29, 2004, at 12:39:49
In reply to Going through emotion issues and need friends !!!!, posted by woolav on July 29, 2004, at 7:52:17
Dear S,
That is a heavy load. It would be hard enough for anyone, but so hard when life is a personal struggle as well. It sounds like you need all the emotional and practical support you can get right now. If you have access to a Social Worker, they would be able to advise you of the best steps to take with your father. It might be worthwhile to make an appointment with a hospice facility. Not that he'll necessarily be using it, but more to see if they have any ideas. You'll have alot to consider down the road, and best to get your options and plans laid out now.As far as your friend, just being there for her, being her friend, is the greatest gift. If there's some practicalities you can assist her with, that's wonderful. But again, find help, anywhere you can. This is too much for you to handle by yourself. Even if you have your own professional health care worker, also find out how Family Services can help. Consider getting into a support group and perhaps locate one for your friend. She must certainly need help with her child. There are caring people and agencies that are there for this kind of thing. Family can be a strong support as well. People generally want to help.
You can only do so much and still need to care for your own hurting self. Hopefully, this will be a good reason to care extra special care of yourself, since you'll need strength and health. You don't need to go through this with raw nerves, so keep at it with finding the right med combo. I'd suggest fish oil as well. It helps keep me from fraying. And if you're a praying sort, keep praying and talking and asking for help from those who love us from the other side. Even at times when my faith was very low and I didn't know who I was talking to, I still sensed there was someone listening who truly cared. There is an order to the ways of our life even though it sure may not be evident at times.
Even when you think you just can't take another thing, somehow you always can. I'm sure if you look back at your life, you'll see you did surprisingly well, considering. Try not to worry about not being able to handle it - that's just wasting good energy. We don't know what's up ahead, but we've all managed to make it so far. Until it's our time to move on, we'll find the resourcefulness to survive. You'll find that strength within and will be a strong and steady support to others because of it. I really think all this pain and crap gives us the chance to choose - 'well, are you going to open your heart or close down?' The ultimate question. Give yourself a big hug for being a loving and kind human being. - Barbara
> Hi all. I have alot of mental health problems that i am trying to find the right meds for. But as i am trying to get MY life straight. I have had alot of bad things happening around me. My 80 yr old father, has cancer and isnt seeking treatment for it, he doesnt want to go through chemo and all. So, he feels like he doesnt have much time left. And in June I found out my best friend has breast cancer. She had both breasts removed and started chemo last week. She is only 34 with a 4 yr old daughter. Ive been trying to support them both (my dad and best friend) but I cant even support myself sometimes. Does anyone have advise about dealing with something like this?
> Thanks
> S
poster:BarbaraCat
thread:371956
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20040220/msgs/372048.html