Posted by keglermac on April 28, 2004, at 11:59:23
First a little about my situation, my wife claims that she quit loving me about two years ago because of things I did or didn't do. At the time I didn't realize that I was clinically depressed since I was about eighteen, I just thought that was who I had become. Anyway she said I didn't give her enough of the right kind of attention and that we didn't have anything in common except our two kids, I was a great father, a good room mate but a terrible husband. A few years before all this started I was working for her parents when she lost her job and started working for them too. Even though they told me I was part of the family there was stuff I wasn't supposed to know that she did so she couldn't talk about her day, and I couldn't complain about mine cause it involved her family members. As we spent less and less time together, I started talking with various people online to try and lift my spirits and just to have friends to talk to, of course one of these relationships went a little too far even though it never got farther than e-mail or chat rooms. She discovered however about three weeks after I had ended it on my own.
Well after a few months she told me she wanted a divorce, I asked if there was anyway to keep this from happening and she said she wasn't sure, so we went ahead and tried counseling, I mentioned something about my problems and the doc put me on Prozac. At that time she said that that was an improvement but it was too late and she had been miserable for too long, of course I can remember several occasions where we had had a really good time together out and about. Right before she said she wanted a divorce the first time she started to go out every weekend, which started to worry me. See I had given up going out without her along with other things a long time ago in order to make her happier.
Of course what I didn't know was what I was told one day when I got a call from her best friend. It seems that she had had a one night stand with a former boyfriend and even considered dating him. But the real shocker was that she had started to see her best friends boyfriend behind both of our backs. Well, it didn't really surprise me as she has always had to go from one relationship to the next before the first one was done. So now she is staying the night over there all the time and has filed for a formal disolution of the marriage.
My problem is this, even though at this point I don't think I can ever trust her again and I can't stand looking at her, it sickens me to think that I won't get to see my kids as much and that this whole thing is happening. She in the meantime has turned into the nastiest human being I can imagine, she has been diagnosed with ADHD and her doctor who was mine thought she was a little bipolar, but she refuses to medicate for it. I don't want her back, I know that, I guess I just don't want to be alone, I don't want to lose my kids and I guess I'm a little hurt to see someone that has told me over and over that she has always loved me since high school and what not is wanting to chose him over me. I just don't know what to do, I'm so confused that I can't think straight and I can't even do anything right right now. I just need to know if anybody else has been thru this and if it will finally get better, and if there is anything I can do to help myself thru this?
poster:keglermac
thread:340994
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20040220/msgs/340994.html