Posted by Wildman on January 27, 2004, at 12:51:42
13 years ago today I lost my best friend, Ted, to Chronic Mylogenous Leukemia. He was 25. He died 100 days after his diagnosis.
Ted was a tremendous positive influence on my life and we were best friends almost from the day we met in 8th grade. Leukemia cut him down less than 1 year after he was married...
I think of him everyday, and his loss still brings tears to my eyes. I can still hear his voice...
I remember talking with him after he was diagnosed and he wanted me to visit him in Houston (I lived in Boston at the time). I just _knew_ he was going to make it, and besides had no money for a plane ticket (lame excuse on my part). We spoke a few more times, and I remember his voice getting weaker and weaker. He wanted me down there to visit, and I (in denial) made excuses.
I don't know how many people have the opportunity to say final goodbyes to people, as death comes unexpectedly in many cases. It's rare to have the chance to say goodbye - and I missed that chance and it is something I will NEVER forgive myself for.
When I got the call that he had passed, my world had ended. I let my best friend down. I hope he forgives me, but I would understand if he didn't.
I named my son after Ted, and get to at least hear that name every day. I try to teach my son about my friend and what kind of friend Ted was to me, in hopes that my son can be that kind of friend to others.
My son Ted is now in kindergarten, and last month, just before Christmas, his teacher gave them an assignment - "what do you wish for?"
Ted, who is 5, responded "that my dad's friend was still alive". He actually _wrote_ that on his paper. I was dumbfounded. When other children were wishing for an XBOX or somesuch, this boy wished for something for me. I think I may have taught him something....
Thanks for reading this.
poster:Wildman
thread:306072
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20030903/msgs/306072.html