Posted by julie_ann_2003 on November 20, 2003, at 9:16:24
I just wanted to share as someone had given me the idea and i was ever so thankful of the help. I had a boyfreind whom my kids had grown close to as well die on me. He had carried a tv upstairs for a neighbor walked in sat back on my bed and before his head hit the pillow it sounded like he was snoring i stood up called 911 got him on the floor and started cpr as one of my kids talked to the 911 operator and relayed to me what to do. nothing worked. he was dead that fast. my 6 year old was sitting on the bed the whole time, i didnt even acknowledge she was there it was so crazy--my 13 yr old was huddled in a ball in the kitchen- knew what was happening but couldnt move, It was so unexpected. he was talking one second and gone the next. My 6 yr old didnt mention him, didnt cry, just went about her normal routine as if nothing and didnt question where he was or why he didnt come back after the paramedics took him out the door. i knew this wasnt healthy- she knew nothing of death and dying and i didnt know how to explain it to her without having a way to bring closure. I took a freinds suggestion. we all sat down and talked about him, all wrote letters to him saying the things left unsaid - mine was over 10 pages long. I was so full of emotions- anger at his leaving me, sad, insecure, scared, lonely, i got it all out on that paper and helped my 6 year old with hers. we took the letters and tied them all together with ribbons, bought a bunch of helium balloons from the grocery store- each of us picking out ones we thought hed like and then went to the park and let it go-- my 6 year old wanted to know if they could really make it all the way to heaven. I told her i didnt really know but was sure that he would get them and would know every word those letters contained and how we felt about him. I cant tell you how much it meant for all of us to have some kind of closure--sure we still missed him still miss him but it made it possible to say goodbye which we werent afforded the opportunity to do. hope this can help somone else with there kids in dealing with the loss of a loved one
poster:julie_ann_2003
thread:281605
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20030903/msgs/281605.html