Posted by Spriggy on March 5, 2005, at 13:28:57
I wrote this for a ministry publication and wanted to share with my friends here:
I had spent my morning frustrated and questioning God.
The circumstances He had me in seemed to lead to nowhere and I could see no end in sight.
“ Lord, do you know what you’re doing here? Could you show me or speak to me so I could have that assurance?”
I sat quietly to hear Him but failed to hear Him respond.Later on that day, I was out running errands with my 5-year-old son, Jacob. School was letting out and before long, traffic began to back up on the road we were driving on. I needed to get home so I decided to turn around and take a back road.
Jacob wanted to be home soon so that he could finish playing his “spider man game” that mommy’s errands had so inconveniently interrupted. When I turned the car around to return home a different way, he started saying, “ mom, where are we going?” I assured him that we were going back home but he continued with his concerns and questions.
“Mom, are you sure this is the right way? I don’t remember this road mom. Mom, you’re going the wrong way.” I found myself getting frustrated with all of his questions and before long I finally said, “ Jacob, mommy knows what she’s doing, okay?” In my mind, I was thinking, “ he is four years old and he’s questioning me!?! He doesn’t even know how to drive or even read!” I was getting offended at my son’s questions because I felt after four years as his mommy, he should have learned by now to just trust me!
It was in that moment that God answered me from hours before. I began to realize why Jacob’s concerns seemed so familiar to me. That same morning, I had asked my own Father God, the same questions.
I have had some plans for my journey and my trip. I had set my agenda and knew where I was headed. Yet, somewhere on this road, God has seemed to take me on a detour. This road has seemed so unfamiliar, not at all the road I had planned on taking. I’ve never been down this road before so I’m not sure where it will lead me.
I swallowed my pride and tried to put things in perspective.
Here I am questioning the God of the Universe, wondering if He knows what He’s doing here in my life and heart. Yet my view in all this is not much different than my 4 year old sons’ .
I can’t see the big picture, I can’t understand the reason God has me in this place at this time, and I want some type of answer as to why He chose this road. Yet I realize, after 26 years of Him being my Father, I really should have just learned to trust Him by now.
I said a prayer and asked Him to forgive me, not for asking Him questions, but for not trusting in Him and His ability to take me where He knows I need to be going.
So today, I think I’ll just sit back in my seat on this ride of life. I’ll stay buckled down in my faith while looking out the window enjoying God’s creation.I know I’ll get to my destination when the driving stops and I hear my Father say, “ Welcome Home.”
poster:Spriggy
thread:466993
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20050111/msgs/466993.html