Posted by Chris O on June 22, 2004, at 15:16:03
In reply to Re: I'm so scared, confused spiritually » Chris O, posted by rayww on June 22, 2004, at 11:52:21
Ray:
Thanks again. This might be my last posting here for a while; just a flurry of guilty, shameful feelings hitting me when I read the Bible. I'm seeking out counseling...trying to set my life in order...I don't know. I am off meds; have taken them in the past; if it weren't for my girlfriend, I
probably wouldn't be taking too good care of myself.
Perhaps a lot of my guilt comes from this disorder...because that is how I feel all the time anyway...anxious, fearful...but I had not accepted Christ into my heart until last week...but I still feel horrible. I just don't know what I am supposed to do with my life...take medication...not take medication...is my anxiety disorder what I experience for not following God....is it the Devil trying to trick me into not feeling forgiven...I just feel so empty inside...and when I contemplate eternal damnation...it drives me to the point of massive anxiety attack...I know most people think I am "good person", but I know in my heart that I am very sinful, that I constantly violate the 10 Commandments...and I just...I don't know where to go from here in my life. I barely hold down a job...my relationship with my family is horrible (though I'm working on that right now)...I just feel like God is angry at me. When I pray, depending on what I think about, I feel generally worse. I know I cannot resolve anything here, on these boards, but I appreciate your and Impertenance's feedback. I just hope I can lead a spiritually right life...and understand God's word without feeling so conflicted and twisted. Thanks.
poster:Chris O
thread:358471
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20040408/msgs/359131.html