Posted by holymama on May 17, 2004, at 5:46:48
In reply to I envy others with peace, posted by shadows721 on May 17, 2004, at 3:26:53
Dear Shadows,
I'm really sorry to hear about you in so much pain and confusion. You know, as I was reading your post, I wondered why you have anything at all to do with a religion that reminds you of the one you had growing up? It might feel more natural for you to worship God in a way that doesn't trigger bad memories. I liked the Quaker meetinghouse I went to for a while because it was completely silent much of the time, no music, no minister, just people alone with their own thoughts and their own ideas of God. Personally, I feel like I can connect with God the best when I view him in a Christian way, and I think it's because I had a good and close relationship with my father, so that when I pray to God and say "Father", or sometimes even "Daddy", it feels comforting to me. I tried thinking of God in a mothering, nurturing way, but my own mother is cold and uncomfortable so that image didn't work for me. That's my $.02 for you: look around until you find a comforting way to be close to God. You obviously have a desire, and when you have a desire, GOd will pull you in close and help you find a way to be close. Just let it happen, and forget about any church that makes you feel scared.Thanks for sharing your story Shadow. You know, one other thing; I was involved with the Jehovah's Witnesses for a short while and when I knew I wanted to leave, but was having a hard time, I found a great website that is for abuse survivors of the Jehovah's Witnesses, but also any abuse survivor in general. The people are so overwhelmingly halpful and supportive to help you and there is even a therapist who gives free advice to anyone who posts him. It sounds like a place that might benefit you. Try this link if you are interested:
http://lambsroar.com/db/index.php
Good luck to you Shadow! Much love to you.
poster:holymama
thread:347538
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20040408/msgs/347690.html