Posted by Temmie on August 16, 2003, at 14:06:09
In reply to Ahimsa, posted by lil' jimi on August 15, 2003, at 9:14:34
I used to know some people who started a spiritual sort of community above Mount Tom in the Eugene area ... named Ahimsa. Wonder how they're doing?
How are the rest of you?
I am home from a vacation trip up to Lake Superior. I have layed in the sun, worshipped in the waters, gathered rocks so old only they know the history of times long past ... and loaded up my car with treasures .... Stones, that is, not jewels. My stones, my beautiful stones. I am so happy to have such ancient objects, many untouched by human hands since God knows when.
I had a long, tearful conversation with Paul in which I finally told him everything (I know what you're doing ... sob sob ... I'm not stupid ... more sobbing ... I've lived with a coke addict in the past ... more sobs ... I'm afraid you're going to get killed, etc. I was standing in an open phone booth outside a Citgo station upstate. Some poor woman came to give "this" poor woman a hug ("God bless you"), and on I sobbed and cried.) At the end, Paul had finally stopped denying he was using crack ....
I don't know what good all this did, other than to let him know the jig was up, to share from an open heart, and let all that stuff pour forth .... To be honest ... just to have been honest, instead of dodging the subject -- good grief -- it was a major cleansing, and one I am still mystified over. I did not leave anything unsaid.
I am still grieving. I am still, sadly, involved. I am working to detach and let go, while holding fast with the other hand, I guess. I can't help it. I'm doing the best I can ... will keep going to meetings, keep chanting (thank you, Jim!), will keep praying, keep attempting to look up, lift up and move forward ....
And hope for the best.
Thank you all for abiding my SLOW road to recovery.
Temmie
poster:Temmie
thread:227349
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20030530/msgs/251343.html