Posted by noa on December 26, 2002, at 18:34:51
In reply to Re: Trying to understand faith and depression, posted by noa on December 26, 2002, at 17:46:42
On the topic of faith...I have felt like depression has meant a shaking of my faith in the most generic sense of the word. What I mean by this is not necessarily religious faith, or faith in God, but just faith--faith that it is worth getting up each day, faith that one's efforts are worth it, faith that life has meaning, faith in other people, faith in oneself.
It is the last that is the biggest problem. I have little faith in myself. I have grown to be very unreliable to myself and others. Because of my lack of motivation, I don't keep my word to myself. I am better at it with others, but not good enough. So, I have lost faith. I struggle with the idea of faith that things will improve, that there is a reason to try to improve things, to overcome the "why bother" feeling that pervades.
How to restore meaning to life? I know what I used to find meaningful, but it is hard to reconnect.
Another thought on faith. Faith that when you go about your day, people will not try to harm you. This is more like trust, I guess. This kind of faith was sorely tested during the sniper weeks. Before we knew who the sniper was, it could have been anyone, and the random nature of the attacks led us to feel very little control in our day to day lives. It made me think about how most of the time, I go out and about assuming, trusting, having faith in, the idea that the other inhabitants of my world around me will not shoot me or hurt me purposely. Most of the time, we take this faith/trust for granted. During the sniper attacks, it rose to the surface of consciousness quickly.
In a similar way, as I drive on the highway, I am struck by the trust and faith we drivers have in each other to follow the rules! I mean, just because there are broken white lines dividing the highway into lanes, what a major act of faith it is to drive at 60+ miles per hour alongside other cars, taking for granted that they will follow the rules and keep to their lanes in a reasonable manner. Of course, a certain amount of skepticism is warranted, to be ready for the possible hazzards associated with someone not following the rules. But every day, we operate with a great amount of trust and faith in our fellow humans and the social contracts we have created in society.
But this is the faith/trust that is usually taken for granted, not thought about.
I am sure there are many more examples.
poster:noa
thread:1442
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20021001/msgs/1466.html