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Re: Spirituality and Moodswings » Sally green

Posted by tabitha on June 16, 2002, at 4:34:18

In reply to Re: Spirituality and Moodswings » Tabitha, posted by Sally green on June 15, 2002, at 21:32:22

Hi Sally,

Thanks for the good wishes. I am still on medication but am noticing a lot more cycling lately, which means more depression as well as hypomania. Hypomania has its pluses-- mainly more creativity, energy, sexuality, and spirituality, but it's not really a very grounded feeling and leads to some poor judgement and doing things that alienate people. Plus it's inevitably followed by a black depression.

I notice that for me, thinking more about God, while it's positive in itself, is also an indicator that my mood is getting unstable. When I'm more balanced I'm either nonreligious or a lukewarm Buddhist. I've been resisting going back to the doctor for a medication change, though I think my resistance has just about been ground down by depression.

Your suggestions about prayer brought up a lot of feelings for me. My mother was intensely religious, and also suffered with depression. She shunned medical and psychological care and prayed for healing instead, but finally committed suicide. In my opinion the intensity of her religious obsession was itself another symptom of her mood disorder, though it was also a source of joy for her. Though I know many sane and wise people believe in prayer, it's linked with tragedy for me.

That's probably why I lean more toward the Eastern religions, though they can be a little impersonal. I defininitely don't have it all worked out yet!

If I may ask, how do you deal with it when your prayers are not answered?

Tabitha

 

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