Posted by fayeroe on August 8, 2008, at 10:13:00
My brother is dying. He is 73.
Over the years our relationship has deterioated into nothing.
He has stolen from me, torn down buildings that are on my property on the ranch and destroyed what was stored. (I may have posted here about it in 2005)
He pulled a gun on me when I lived on the ranch in 2001.
He is crazy.
My parents deeded me the part of the ranch that has the ranchhouse on it and my brother wanted that part for himself. When I moved down there to care for our mother he began to threaten me and after she died it was all out war towards me.
I can hear the unspoken plea in my sister's words that I go home and see him. I don't even consider him my brother and I don't consider "home" home anymore.
My daughters and I have talkd about this for the past three or four days. If I go down there to see him, I will be physically and emotionally sick for weeks afterwards. I've worked very hard to detach from that place (and him) and I don't want to open up those wounds by showing up and making nice to him. I don't feel nice towards him and I won't put on a show for him or the family. I don't want to give him my power back by doing the "oh, it's all right, Drew, what is done is done".
I will go to the funeral because I want to do that for my nephews. I love them both very much. They are grown men and are very aware of what he is. He abused them as children. It isn't like the entire family didn't stand by and watch his reign of terror for years. My sisters have excused his behavior for the past 30 years. They have told me "we're praying for him every night" and I've replid "well, it must not be working".
A state senator told me one day that if my daddy hadn't been such a fine man that someone would have killed my brother years before. That probably sums up what kind of person he has been as well as anything that I can tell you.
I loved him so much while we were growing up and then became absolutely terrified of him by the time I was in my 50s.
Help? Pat
poster:fayeroe
thread:844923
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20080422/msgs/844923.html