Posted by ClearSkies on June 2, 2008, at 18:52:10
I have had two big tasks that I've undertaken recently, which is surprising in itself. A few weeks ago I don't think I would be able to tackle them, but my increase in Remeron finally kicked in, after taking its old sweet time of about 6 to 8 weeks as advertised. My depression has again eased off, and the days haven't looked as dim.
Task number one has been to have my step daughter live with us. She's had a struggle with substance abuse and also an abusive partner, so I am very happy that she felt she could call out to us when she needed to. I did feel an immediate sense of panic when she moved in, as several years ago she had lived with us after her graduation from college, and it hadn't ended well at all. I made an emergency appointment to see my T, and when I arrived, she was well prepared for me :-) (((((T))))) and how she understands me.
The idea is that my step daughter really seems to need the structure and support that was available to her during her initial time in a rehab facility, but which was withdrawn after her first 30 days. It wasn't long after that she decided to leave and strike out on her own, but she found it difficult to gain any kind of traction. Plus she was being pursued by her abusive partner. It was really harrowing. So we stepped in; gave her shelter, helped her change her phone number. Partner doesn't know where she is now. She'll be staying with us while she finds a job and saves up enough money to get her own place and real new beginning.
Where do I come in? (Apart from living where she's living, that is.) I'm encouraging her to go to meetings, to get a sponsor, to work her steps. She needs to hear that she's doing the right things. I looked up some phone numbers and found a place that will do counseling on a sliding fee scale, when she's ready to do that. There's a domestic violence organization that we can talk to who offers counseling too, to help her get support in protecting herself. I found a local artist's group where she'll be able to use studio space so she can keep her hand in - we've run out of space at home.
My next appointment with my T, I was walking on clouds. I couldn't believe how much better I felt, helping someone else. It was liberating, it was empowering, it boosted my self esteem. It's been a true gift, to have this troubled woman living with us, and I am grateful for it.
The dynamics of our relationship are completely different than the first time around. When she lived with us before, I wouldn't speak to her of any problems that I might have with her habits or practices - I would complain to her father, my DH. Eventually the whole situation blew up in a big mess, and she left thinking that I didn't trust her or want her in my house. Which wasn't true - but because she and I hadn't been talking with each other in the first place, we didn't really know what the other person was thinking or feeling, so it got all distorted and confused.
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The other big task has had to do with our antiques business. We had started an online store 6 months ago, and frankly, it was a dud. Didn't really go anywhere with it, paid fees every month and the service from the provider was miserable. We decided to pull up stakes and try to think really hard of something else to do! Then, by way of Amazon, where I've been selling used books (which is an easy thing to do, BTW), I heard of a free web hosting site call eCrater. So I've been working on getting us set up over there instead.
Now I'm not very educated. I graduated high school, went to night school for some college courses, but don't have a degree. So I'm pretty intimidated by technical challenges. But darn it if this eCrater wasn't a fairly easy place to set up shop! Then I registered a domain name, and boom! we're official there too. Then next I went to Google Checkout, and boom! now we're set up to accept credit cards.
I swear, the hardest part was figuring out the Shipping Matrix, how much to charge by weight for shipping packages. But I even got that one done.
So now we have this new store set up for business, and I'm not as worried if I go another 6 months with only 2 sales, because I don't have to pay anything every month. It's all free. And I did it myself.
(Pats self on back and buys self a grande decaf latte as a reward.)
poster:ClearSkies
thread:832578
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20080422/msgs/832578.html