Posted by llurpsienoodle on April 17, 2008, at 9:55:21
In reply to Re: maybe one of the reasons I have low self-esteem, posted by Fathe on April 17, 2008, at 9:38:11
> Oh llurpsie my heart breaks when I read a few of the posts here. One, because the pain these posts reveal is very emotional and familiar, and two, because I want to reach out and hug to try and comfort. Yours made me very tearful because it really hits home. A post from ClearSkies also hit home.
>I am sorry that we have this in common, but it is so nice to meet you, Fathe. ClearSkies is a wonderful person. Her self-hatred is so so undeserved. She is big-hearted, smart, kind, clever and has a great sense of humor. She even has a special hat, and enjoys aromatherapy. I can go on and on... (((((cs)))))
> I am finding a comfort reading these because I feel I can open up here and people will understand. I know I have some depression going on too and I am dealing with it and going to go back on some medication for it.
These are hard things to admit to ourselves, and even harder to admit to others and reach out "I need help". Please take heart that you're not the first, or the last person to feel the way you do.
> But llurpsie, your post revealed to me one of the major things that crushes my esteem.
>
> I am third in a family of 4 girls. The oldest and the youngest naturally get their special station in the family but my sister (second oldest) and I have such an emotional battle going on since I was in my teens and it affects me daily (I am 53 now). We have had words of which some of hers I will never forgive her for. In addition, she admitted she is harder on me than my other 2 sisters but she cannot explain why. Around her I have become an emotional wreck - I do not like even seeing her on Holidays as the stress level I experience is not worth the visit. My hair is not right, my kitchen is not organized to her liking, if I do not feel well I am a baby, our jobs are in the same field but when she has a bad day she can be nasty, but not me ( and she should understand how stressful our field is), it is always something where I do not measure up.
>
> She is not the sole reason for my low self esteem but your post, llurpsie, really made me think about my family and how they certainly affect me.
>Isn't it amazing that they continue to have so much power over us? I didn't speak to my bro for several years. It was only when he had kids that I started to communicate with him. Fortunately he married a wonderful woman who seems to temper his out of control ego. She and I are trying hard to get older bro some kind of treatment for his bipolar. He refuses meds and therapy, despite the fact that he has quite the history of severe mental illness :(
> Thank you - I am learning alot about me here, which at times is not easy, along with meeting some very nice people.
>
>It's nice to learn from you too. I'm glad that I'm not alone. I just wish that nobody had to share what we share.
-Ll
poster:llurpsienoodle
thread:823706
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20071011/msgs/823772.html