Posted by Racer on July 20, 2006, at 0:12:26
My T was talking about self esteem today, and said that it's on a continuum with narcissism, and the goal was to be somewhere in the middle, with some healthy narcissism and a good dose of humility. That got me thinking, and it set us off on that topic.
Right now, as some of you know, I'm taking a math class. (Summer class, so *very* intensive.) I'm seeing EVERYTHING in terms of graphs, Cartesian coordinates, etc. So, when she said that, and I thought about it for a moment, I realized that I have been hopping around on a slightly different continuum: between lack of self esteem, and lack of humility. The thing with needing *perfect* grades, after all, is one expression of a lack of humility, but it's not narcissism. If it was narcissism, I'd think that I *deserved* perfect grades, because I was so good the standards should be based on my performance. Instead, I work at getting perfect grades, because it's the only way I can try to show that I'm Good Enough. (Yeah, Good Enough is kinda a theme, ain't it?) So, it's not narcissism, but it's also not humility.
Our new goal is to put me on the continuum from lack of self esteem and narcissism, near where it intersects with moderate humility.
I thought I'd throw that out there so others could comment on it.
(Oh, and about that theme? One of my mothers adages -- very, very often heard when I was growing up -- was, "Good Enough Never Is." It's hard to get over that. Every time I say, "Well, it's Good Enough," I feel as though I have to go back and do it again, to get it Right.)
poster:Racer
thread:668502
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060706/msgs/668502.html