Posted by ElaineM on March 7, 2007, at 18:48:39
In reply to brother with eating disorder, posted by nellie7 on March 6, 2007, at 11:31:47
Nellie, I'm sorry your brother suffers so, and that your attempts to convince him to seek help can't be heard. Unfortunately that's how it often is -- it's like the essence of ED's. You need to defend the system you've come to believe in, and feel safe inside of. And if that means finding every way possible to defend the illogical, unscientific, disordered practices you take part in, so be it. You find a way. For me, it was like having an automatic built-in denying mechanism. But the whole thing [i had AN] was like building a wall around myself. All the behaviours became comforts. controls. They seem to protect you from the outside [but also, actually distracting you from your inside] -- like the best of both worlds, or rather, lack of both worlds. I think that's what makes them so hard to give up. For me at least.
Can he realize he's underweight? If he's been living this way for awhile now, how does he justify the new health problems, that have come into being while he's been on his regime, to you?
It sounds like your brother may have orthorexia. I've only ever seen (and read) one book about it. The book was, "Health Food Junkies: Orthorexia Nervosa - the Health Food Eating Disorder" I don't remember alot from it, cause I read it four years ago. Maybe others will know more than me. Is exercising a symptom?
I wonder if an alternative medicine doctor (or whomever he's involed with and trusts giving his "healthy eating" tips) could reach him? [does he use a herbalist, or holistic practitioner, or something?] Maybe they could express the concerns of the unhealthy effects that lack of a variety in foods, and amounts, lack of good fats etc. has on his organs, systems, and physical performance. Kind of approach it from a way he'd be less hostile towards. I don't know. I've never known anyone personally, or met them in treatment, who suffered from this. Does he have a trainer or something? I wonder if they could work as a liason. I don't know -- just free-flowing whatever comes into my head here. Sorry if I'm way off base.
It's probably true that really nothing that can be done until he's ready to accept his situation. That's the saddest and hardest part. It must be difficult to watch someone you love harming themself. I suppose if he's very very ill someone could petition to be his decision maker, challenge his competency -- but thats really only extreme cases. [I'm assuming he's not a minor]
I guess just continue to express your love as much as you can, work at taking care of yourself interms of dealing with this, and collecting information so you and your family can understand, and be available and ready when he's ready.
El
poster:ElaineM
thread:738703
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20061124/msgs/739035.html