Posted by tygereyes on April 25, 2006, at 0:00:19
I have struggled with anorexia nervosa for ten years. I have been to numerous hospitals and specialists and it seems like nothing works. I have been declared dead from heart failure due to low weight. And it's still not enough for me to want to recover.
My last treatment failure involved Dialectical Behavior Therapy (I also have Borderline Personality Disorder). I have tried CBT, psychodynamic therapy, supportive therapy, nutritional counseling, and nothing works.
I recently fired my treatment team so I could get sick again. (They had me under a weight contract.) Anorexia Nervosa is hell but it seems like my periods of weight normalcy were a WORSE hell.
I am studying to be a psychiatrist (ironic, huh? the anorexic doctor) and I know I would jeopardize my career if I were to get that sick again but I can't stop wanting to go back.
Does anyone ever recover from this illness? Especially someone who has been declared chronic and treatment-resistant? The medical literature would indicate that chances are slim (so to speak!)
I see no way out of this. I feel so hopeless. I am tired of trying and failing to get better.
Why is something that is so meaningless in the end (being emaciated) so important to me?
poster:tygereyes
thread:636811
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20051009/msgs/636811.html