Posted by Racer on December 24, 2005, at 2:15:52
We're trying to make a baby, which is mostly good incentive to eat -- but I can't quite manage to eat "right." I find that I'm using every excuse to restrict again, which is complicated by a wicked case of acid reflux right now.
Today my husband and I were out and about, and we stopped for lunch at a Taco Bell. (Crazy -- somehow, Taco Bell became "safe food" for me, so I can eat there. Anywhere else, I would have made an excuse not to eat.) Anyway, over lunch -- which took place near 4PM, NOT what I'm supposed to be shooting for -- my husband suddenly looked at me and said, "You do know that if we make a little baby, you will have to eat while you're pregnant? Otherwise you'll hurt the baby." I know that! Bad Word! I do know that, and it's very hard for me.
Part of me says, "Eat well, to maximize the chances of conception." Yet another part of me is saying, "No, the doctor thinks you can't have a baby without in vitro at 10K a pop, so may as well wait until you know for sure before committing yourself to being fatter than you are now..." In fact, I have to admit that I do find myself making a lot of excuses, and restricting as much as I can get away with. (Hubby's taking this week and next off work. Makes it a bit hard. Not too hard, though, since he doesnt' seem to notice that I don't eat lunch again...)
Can anyone help with this sort of thing? I honestly cannot find it in me to accept being this fat. I hate it, I need to get it off me, and I even find myself thinking it should just be chopped off me. ANYTHING to get rid of it.
ARGH!
poster:Racer
thread:591799
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20051009/msgs/591799.html