Posted by LOOPS on August 11, 2005, at 20:13:03
Hello there -
just found this board as I usually post on alternative. Just wanted to say hello and will people please post some more!
Well I've been struggling on and off with first anorexia at..yes, you guessed it, the magical age of 15 - which then abated for a few years, only to return with full-on bulimia at University. Been battling this for around 8 years now - seems to go away when I'm "happy", only to return with a vengeance when I'm not very happy.
Anway, anyone who reads the alternative board will know I'm currently taking heaps of fish oil, some GLA (evening primrose oil), various supplements and am generally doing better. Well....most of the time. Right now I'm struggling with bulimia again, simply because I am alone most of the day and things have gotten quite emotionally stressful round here.
I too have a dichotomy of wanting to be healthy, yet struggling with a very unhealthy preoccupation with my body and how thin my stomach/thighs/*rse are on any given minute or day.
The only thing sometimes stopping me from being completely engulfed once more in the horrors of alternating bingeing/purging/restricting is not wanting to end up the overdosed mess in hospital I was quite a few years back. I couldn't think straight from all the purging. These days I know that eating good food = feeling better = thinking straighter, and that b/p = feeling worse = not being able to think straight.....and...in the end...gaining weight due to a body's last attempts at holding on to weight. In fact this was the last realization I had that pushed me into trying to find a compromise or at least work towards recovery.
Right now I am at a very healthy weight, but still struggle with that dark part of my mind, which still gets the better of me. The physical/emotional pain never seems to really go away, and the panic after eating a large meal still haunts me, despite me doing better generally.
Some general things I have found useful and still do regarding eating:
PROTEIN. Because my blood sugar goes all over the place if I don't get enough of this. If in doubt always try to eat some lean meat (if fat causes you a problem) - turkey, red meat (especially red meat), tuna - you name it. I would say if it is a choice between an apple and a piece of meat, go for the meat. Especially protein first thing in the morning.
Well I suddenly have to go now, but I will continue this in another post. Anyway, enough waffling and I just wanted to give a warm hug to everyone here suffering and please post more!
Loops
poster:LOOPS
thread:540435
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20050314/msgs/540435.html