Posted by Racer on March 27, 2005, at 15:36:08
This is the first time I've been treated for AN, although it's a longstanding problem for me. This week has been really rough for me, and I'm restricting again. I won't say that "I can't help it" because I can. If I chose to, I could keep trying to meet my meal plan, but I haven't chosen that. I've chosen to restrict again.
I'm curious, though, for any of you who have gone through this before -- what the hell is my disconnect? I know that I have an eating disorder, I know that I'm acting it out right now by restricting, I know that it's not healthy. So why is it that I'm doing it anyway? How can I have the insight to see what I'm doing, but still do it?
Maybe the basic question is "What the hell is wrong with me?" The obvious answer to that is, "Gee, Racer, you have an eating disorder, duh!"
I don't know. Has anyone else gone through this? Have you gained any insight into it?
Thanks.
poster:Racer
thread:476283
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20050314/msgs/476283.html