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Re: Is it all my fault? » Daisym

Posted by All Done on October 17, 2006, at 17:04:40

In reply to Re: Is it all my fault? » All Done, posted by Daisym on October 5, 2006, at 22:55:11

> I hope it goes OK tonight.
>
> I've been thinking about this a lot. Could it be that your little guy is angry -- not anxious? It is hard for kids to show how angry they are - and think about it from his perspective -- dad is gone, and he probably doesn't like that. One of his favorite teachers left and came back - and he probably didn't like that. Now he is in a new classroom, and change is really hard. So while he likes the classroom, he most likely doesn't like the change. And I can imagine that he "forgets" in the evening that he has moved to a new room and then gets reminded in the morning - and the upset starts again.

There has been so much going on he would have every reason to get angry. So much of his world changed so quickly. I know he knows how to tell me he's angry - at least when he's angry at me - but I have such a hard time naming my own anger, I imagine it's even harder for him.


> The other thing that occurs to me is that you've been having your own hugely hard time with separation anxiety. So it is likely that he is acting it out for you. I know that sounds "out there" but sensitive kids often do this. It is sort of a classical projective identification, or empathic response. It will be interesting to pay attention to his ebbs and flows, in comparison to your own.

I will have to pay more attention to when it occurs the most for both of us, but I definitely agree this could be happening. I just hope we don't keep bouncing our anxieties off of each other in some sort of never ending pattern.


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poster:All Done thread:691549
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