Posted by muffled on October 3, 2005, at 14:51:57 [reposted on October 5, 2005, at 19:10:34 | original URL]
In reply to Breakingthe cycle of abuseWhat do you do different, posted by happyflower on October 3, 2005, at 13:51:17
> I remember reading that you tend to parent how you were parented. I knew my parents were abusive and didn't know what they were doing. I remember my mom saying one time," I don't need to read a parenting book on how to be a parent."
> Thank goodness I saw another way of parenting through TV, Cosby Show, Brady Bunch, Leave it to Beaver, etc.
> Well before I became a parent I read every parenting book I could find, because I wanted to do it right, and not screw up like my parents.
>
> One thing I do different is I don't spank my kids like I was. There are other effective ways to disapline a child. Yes, it might take more time and effort, but it is worth it I think. But what ever way you deceide to do it, consistantly is the key and you have to do something to teach them. My kids always know that if they do wrong, they will get a result they don't like grounding, timeout, etc. They are not allowed to physically or emotionally hurt each other. If they have disagreement they must use their voice respectively torwards each other, and not resort to hitting or name calling. It works most of the time. LOL
>
> Another thing I do is teach my kids respect and manners. We eat at the table, not in front of the TV (unless it is a special event). They have learned table manners by seeing what is expected of them. I can take them into any really nice restaurant, even as toddlers, and they would behave wonderfully most of the time.
>
> Another thing I do is let them know how much I love them and that I am there for them. If a kid can count on their parent, and get plenty of attention, they will not act up for attention. If my kids need a hug, all they have to do is ask, and they do sometimes.
> Parenting is so hard, but worth it. I am so glad I didn't turn into my parents version of parenting.Yeah. I'm trying to be a good parent also. I already done some screwing up, but I'm gonna do much better. Its hard to be a great parent when you don't understand your own self. But I'm working on that too. I tell my kids that their Mom isn't perfect but she loves them SO much.We really got to work on our manners. I'm bad for that. That was a nice post. THX.
Muffled.
poster:muffled
thread:563421
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/child/20050817/msgs/563422.html