Posted by Tom_Brisk on February 27, 2001, at 12:07:25
Hello,
I was curious as to wiether or not I should 'talk to someone'. I am sixteen and often feel .. 'depressed'. By depressed I mean a very anti-social mood.. not feeling good. One issue is on certain days (maybe once every month or two) I feel great and display a personality which my mom says is "how I used to be all the time". She was thinking it might be a chemical imbalance. I'm also very into computers. I don't mean internet chat addictions or anything like that but ever since I was about 5 I always liked the computer. I've sold/designed websites , I was into server administration when I was 12-14 (linux etc.) and now I'm more into PC Gaming and Web Devel then anything else. The problem with it is it's all I do. From 3-10 I went out everyday, 10-12 I moved about a mile away but had trouble making newer friends so went out maybe 2-3 times a week(I still saw my older friends I was just to young to walk that far by myself everyday), then from 13-14 I never went out at all, I started highschool at 14 and went out on the weekends etc. until I got expelled (I was going to a catholic/private school) inwhich case most of my older friends stopped communicating with me. I went to a rather bad school for the next 3 months (From March to May 23rd and I'm in Philadelphia) then summer then the following year I left because of .. 'differences' with a few other 'students'. After that I transferred to 'Northeast Highschool' which is the best public highschool in philly, part of a magnet program which basically means less crime. I'm now on my second year at Northeast (3 years of highschool total) and preparing to goto college. I don't currently work however I hope to start soon and to go out for my drivers permit. I have had troubles in school since 6th grade (as far as not getting good grades and suspensions) however this year has been the worst. Most days I find I *hate* school and never went to go. I know most kids say they hate school but I never really *hated* it until now. I'm very self conscious ... I have an 'acne' probably which is hereditary. My father had it until he was Sr. at which time they gave him a strong pill called 'Accutane' which I'm looking into getting. (I've tried 3 others before it but it's usually saved as a last resort) I'm a little overwieght about 240 pounds (but I'm 6'5 so it really isn't exactly fat) which also bothers me a bit. I bought a wieght set so hopefully I'll workout. My main concern really is just dealing with problems and socializing. Getting back to the personality thing , some days I just feel very confident and happy and in a 'funny' mood running through the hallways saying hi to everybody and talking but on most days I just feel 'blah'. I have stress about school because I want to survive highschool and hopefully get a job with computers. I imagine college being a lot more fun then highschool but I'm still unsure about how i'll handle myself presently. I also have problems at home .. with my mom. I don't have a very good relationship. She's well , you know, mean a lot. I had a few anger-controlment problems last year I punched a hole in the wall and punched a door window out. I still was unsure about 'therapy' because my dad and my moms boyfriend had said they had similiar outbursts right around 15-17. Hmm .. well I think I'll stop here and take a look at any comments.
poster:Tom_Brisk
thread:106
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/child/20000813/msgs/106.html