Posted by Kaffy on August 28, 2007, at 23:06:17
In reply to Re: 3 Minute Cure for Brain Damage? » Noddy, posted by Larry Hoover on August 28, 2007, at 19:57:16
Noddy,
WOW, My sentiments exactly!
Re: "Depression is bad, but to me, feeling helpless about depression and powerless to change is worse" That *helpless* feeling is horrible for me, because I can be a 'control freak', and have always expected, or set goals possibly too high. ...but then, my parents also expected near-perfection (from my viewpoint) from me, without understanding my restrictions of depression, which they did not pick up on, and my attempts at telling "a little" was attributed to "growing pains", etc. So, since around puberty, I've 'lived with it', and managed to have a successful career - but I certainly would have enjoyed it much more had I not needed to work so hard to overcome the 'demons'. I'm now trying to put some of this on paper for social security people, but they want doctors' documentation, etc. ...yeah, like every complaint, although consistent, has been documented?! It took 20 years for someone to finally test me for sleep apnea! And the response I get when I tell my doc that I find myself holding my breath during the day is "why?" - as if I do it on purpose, for the non-high from lack of oxygen. No, I think I'd choose another form of suicide, thanks. She knows that I 'think' about it, and asks periodically, but I tell her I'm too nosey for 'tomorrow' to do anything - that I'd fumble anyway, ha ha. I think the idea of suicide is more of "stop the world, I want to get off", until I can get myself and my environmet squared away - then I'll take on the problems awaiting me, but please, take a number!
Wow, am I lying down on the imaginary sofa or what? thanks for listening, and letting me get this OUT! I am Kathleen in PA, and glad to know you, Noddy. I welcome responses/impressions/remarks to my rantings...I think we have more insight to this shared present from Hell than those without it. But answers? No, just a day-to-day struggle to be what we know we can be.
poster:Kaffy
thread:708378
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/alter/20070816/msgs/779442.html