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Re: posters who could use support

Posted by Dr. Bob on July 7, 2013, at 17:03:14

In reply to Re: posters who could use support » Dinah, posted by Phillipa on July 5, 2013, at 20:45:27

> > What makes this rewarding for me is "wins" like posters finding that they're stronger than they thought.
>
> So you find it rewarding that a poster here and there are strong enough to continue posting in the face of the pain they receive at your website? Well...
>
> I don't see it as a "win" for the website though, other than of course the site is better off than if the poster left. It's more a "win" for the poster. What did you have to do with it? Do you feel pride in it?

I thought she felt strong enough not just to continue posting here, but to fight for her daughter in real life. Yes, I find that rewarding. OK, it's primarily a win for her, but a win for a member of this community is also a win for this community. I take some pride in it because I moderate this site. Community members could take pride in it because they continually gave her inspiration.

> I believe I hear you saying [posters] are going to have to continue to see Lou continue posting ... That they're going to have to learn to find intrinsic rewards in continuing to battle Lou? Thank you for making that clear. That makes me feel sad.

Would you call the above "intrinsic"? I do feel it's sad to be powerless to effect the changes one wishes to see. Would you agree? I try to learn ways to cope and find the energy to persevere.

> I generally have been choosing
>
> 4.) things in life other than Babble. I'm rather proud of my strength in being able to do that more and more. You are free to take pride in that if you wish, as you certainly have played a role in giving me that strength. I spent nearly a month without looking at the site!! Congratulations on generating that strength in me.
>
> Dinah

Thanks, I do take some pride in that, too. As you're well aware, I chose 4.) for a time myself.

--

> I also feel a deep appreciation for Babble as it used to be. I think it played a limited but very positive role in my recovery from depression, both by providing good ideas of medications to try, and, even more, by providing a warm and empathic community to share experiences with.
>
> What did eventually damage that sense of trust and community was that the board became unmoderated.
>
> If the positive aspects of Babble aren't restored, posters are simply not going to want to be a part of it. Old posters are going to continue to disappear, and new ones are not going to find it worthwhile to join.
>
> It would be so much better to institute a minimal, flexible version of the administrative policies which made Babble a success in the past.
>
> Twinleaf

Thanks, I'll try to remember that attachment to the old Babble can reflect appreciation for it.

Unfortunately, that wasn't a sustainable model. Not for me or for any of the deputies. So change is necessary.

In fact, what you have before you now is a minimal, flexible version of those administrative policies. With the option of a less minimal and flexible version. But for some, neither of those models will be just right.

Posters have always come and gone. A new model may not prevail by convincing its opponents, but rather because its opponents eventually go, and a new generation "grows up" that is familiar with it.

--

> what do I know as told all the time from a blocked poster that I'm hated here.
>
> Phillipa

1. Do you like being told that?
2. How do you know they hate you?

Can you see where I'm going?

Bob


a brilliant and reticent Web mastermind -- The New York Times
backpedals well -- PartlyCloudy


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poster:Dr. Bob thread:1046098
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20130702/msgs/1046709.html