Posted by Dinah on January 7, 2011, at 8:32:24
In reply to Re: Truly disillusioned by this entire thread, posted by SLS on January 7, 2011, at 6:28:37
I do wonder why this is all being focused on one poster, though. In this very thread there have been allegations that a different poster forwarded not only information sent to them privately, but the entire private communications. There have been mentions, on this thread and others, of posters speaking off board in what would certainly seem to be a negative context of other posters. There has been mention of photos being sent to other posters. And in none of the cases I speak of was the poster responsible Phillipa.
I'm not on the receiving end of all that much gossip myself. But in my years of Babble I've received communications negative about other posters. I've received snippets of private communications. In no cases that I can recall did Phillipa do either of these things with me. The people communicating with me have been fortunate in their choice. I wouldn't dream of forwarding their communications to the party they were speaking about. Or to anyone else for that matter. I rather thought that was poor internet etiquette? Am I mistaken. Are there exemptions to the forwarding of private information rule?
I say negative things about Babblers off board. Heck, I consider that one of the functions of my civility buddies. I say things to them that I'd be blocked from here to Sunday for saying on board. I have a chance to vent feelings so that they don't explode on board. I have been fortunate in my civility buddies. None of them, to my knowledge, has passed on any information I've told them privately. In the past, perhaps the same period of time that people are referring to old posts of Phillipa, I may have been less judicious in what I've said about others. Over time I've tried to learn to be more generous of spirit. I try to grow and change. I wouldn't like to see posts from years back referring to me used as evidence that I must be guilty today of the same things.
Over the years, people have tried to tell me what negative things others were saying about me behind my back. I've asked that they not. That sort of thing isn't so unusual that I would want to destroy what relationship I have with a person by hearing gossip about what they said about me.
I'd like to ask Dr. Bob a question. If a poster sends to you copies of babblemails forwarded to them by another poster, will the poster originally forwarding those communications be sanctioned? I know it's uncivil to post private communications on board. Is it also uncivil *by board standards* to forward them to other Babblers?
I wonder, if those of us who were without sin were the only ones to cast stones, how many stones would be cast?
I wonder if Willful hasn't the right of it. Maybe the issue has more to do with the affect of the poster. I've read incidents of police abusing mentally ill patients because the affect they show seems wrong to the police. I don't know if it's true in real life, but cop shows tell us that if a person responds with the "wrong" affect to a crime, they are likely the guilty party. I've often suspected I'd be the first suspect in anything illegal that happened around me. I have OCD and an anxiety disorder. I tend to look guilty. My affect is, according to more than one mental health practitioner, flat. I don't think judging by the response of the accused is fair to those wired differently. I don't think it's fair to expect another person to react to shame and criticism with a response judged acceptable by the pack.
Scott is right. If this *must* be discussed, it oughtn't be discussed in terms of one babbler. I can tell you without doubt, both by testimony and confession, that there is more than one Babbler who says negative things about others off board. I have no basis to give testimony that Phillipa does these things. She has never done those things with me. You have been told in this thread, by Maxime, that a Babbler who is not Phillipa passes on information sent to them privately.
I don't want to hear justifications for making this about Phillipa. If the pack wants to attack anyone, I have just admitted to speaking negatively of other Babblers off board. I gossip. I haven't had my life made unbearable enough yet to stop my unruly behavior. Those of you without sin may chastise me freely. I show my soft underbelly.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20101201/msgs/975935.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20101201/msgs/975896.html
poster:Dinah
thread:975555
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20101201/msgs/976077.html