Posted by Dinah on December 5, 2010, at 0:51:18
In reply to Re: A solution in search of a problem, posted by Solstice on December 4, 2010, at 18:16:34
> The post you made yesterday (I think) that I was responding to here sounded like you thought I was on a campaign to change what you had going. I threw out ideas in an attempt to address issues, but they seemed to be perceived as more than just ideas.
I didn't think you were trying to change anything I had going. I have nothing going. I perceived your suggestions as just ideas.
> There is a difference in my mind between trying to 'silence' someone, and reacting to someone's ideas in a way makes them feel like the ideas they share are not welcome.I didn't intend to convey that. I was stating my thoughts about those ideas. I'm sorry that the way I reacted made you feel like your ideas were not welcome.
> Again.. I didn't feel you were trying to silence me.. I just felt that sharing my ideas was not welcome.
To me, telling someone their ideas were not welcome is the same as trying to silence them. I intended neither.
> It sounded like you believed the definition of Civility Buddy had undergone a massive change, and that was being attributed to me.
Dr. Bob himself mentioned what he called formal civility buddies that I understood to mean required civility buddies. I would ask him to change the terminology, if that's what he meant. It made me feel uneasy. I'm not sure why you're taking it personally when Dr. Bob himself mentioned it.
> If taken as simply ideas, my ideas shouldn't upset anyone, and they certainly shouldn't provoke someone as important to the community as you are to resign a position you designed that is functioning well.
First of all, I didn't exactly design this position and I don't think it's been used at all so I really don't feel free to say it's functioning well. How can something that is brand new and never used be considered functioning well *or* badly? Because it's new I don't know what it will turn into. And because it's new, I'm not altogether comfortable with my role, particularly if it still feels up in the air as to its function. I have absolutely no investment in the position at all. I agreed to do something Dr. Bob asked me to do when he took up my suggestion.
> If someone were saying things that I believed were intruding on me to the extent mine appear to have intruded on you, then I wouldn't welcome that person's input. I'm not sure I'm making sense in describing this.. but your reaction seemed stronger than what I would expect to be generated by sharing a variety of ideas, unless the sharing of those ideas was just not welcome.
I'm not sure what you are hearing in my posts, but I wasn't that upset. I feel a bit upset now...
You seem to be saying I am misunderstanding you. Perhaps I am. Certainly I don't have a clear sense that I am understanding what's going on at the moment.
I've said what I think. I've given my feedback. I don't feel all that comfortable with saying more. I have no confidence in my ability to understand you, when you have said that I have misunderstood you, or to respond in a way you find welcoming.
poster:Dinah
thread:964630
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20101201/msgs/972551.html