Posted by violette on July 4, 2010, at 15:34:51
In reply to For what it's worth » violette, posted by Dinah on July 4, 2010, at 14:05:14
I"m glad these posts were moved-it was distracting from the original topic.
What upset me and caused me to act out was the fact that Emily's hurt was acknowledged while Verloren's was not (as well as 2 other posters on other threads) - despite my view of the nature/intent of the posts, which was only my opinion, these members stated how they felt. That they were hurt is fact. But only one person's hurt was addressed. I don't understand why people who chose to be involved in the discussion would not acknowedge this.
And although I was in a way projecting my feelings with Verloren, the whole situation is dysfunctional and parallelled my dangerous childhood experience-where an extremely codependent mother fiercely protected the abuser...while her children's cries went unheard and ignnred.
I wish I chose to not become involved, but I can't change that now and am dealing with my responsibility in contributing to this. The fact that I chose to be involved, however, does not negate the fact some people's hurts are acknowledged while others are not; instead, the community defends one....while sanctioning the person who was trying to point out the unacknowledged hurts of others-which were clearly stated.
I appreciate Emily's perspective and views as well; it's just I noticed some people felt hurt by the manner they were conveyed, and I got triggered and acted out. I am not personally offended by anything Emily has said to me and she directly stated how she felt, which I can accept.
Although no one expressed concern about my mental heatlh (I really don't expect anyone to understand so I accept that) - I had similar symptoms before I started seeing my current therapist, but after starting treatment with him, they subsided a great deal. So he may have overestimated my ego strength. But recent life changes and triggers from my mother's recent behavior have contributed to the escalation of my symptoms, and we had just begun to talk about it. I need therapy more than once a week, but am trying to cope the best I can.
I am sorry if I offended anyone through my actions. I just wish someone would acknowledge the other people who were hurt by the situation and akcnowledge my pain in feeling the community supports a potentially harmful environment by only acknowleding one person's hurt while others who expressed their hurt are ignored.
I can accept my responsibility in this situation as I stated, but I just can't accept the lack of acknowledgement of other people who stated they were hurt and and the potential implications of supporting an environment that does not acknowledge.
I'm trying to disengage. I whittled myself off the med board, and I'm getting there...I'm just not going to be too hard on myself right now as I haven't fell apart yet and don't want to go there.
poster:violette
thread:953266
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100321/msgs/953278.html