Posted by Dr. Bob on June 29, 2010, at 23:21:21
In reply to I think it IS a me issue, posted by Glydin 2010 on June 29, 2010, at 8:55:30
> When someone makes a generalization, another poster can simply say-in a civil way-this is my experience that contradicts the generalization. Such as when a poster said all psychiatrists are bad, or whatever term was used, I simply stated that this is not the case from my experience.
That was an excellent way to address an overgeneralization without accusing or putting down the other poster, thank you.
> It is very difficult to tip toe around here with words.
>
> Honest to god it can become so difficult to use this forum feeling like walking on eggshells all the time. ... it is really distracting from fruitful discussion by constantly having to say, "this is only my opinion"....or "this is only my experience"
>
> I don't want to feel like I have to write as if I'm writing a thesis when I use this forum-I just don't have the mental energy to expend to carefully craft my words in a manner that doesn't necessarily express myself, but rather-to appease others. I don't mean that in the context of being civil-that doesn't seem too difficult-but it seems unhealthy to have to write to appease others; it's not insensitivity, it's realizing that people often do write casually for internet discussions and shouldn't have to worry about accidentally using the word "most" instead of "some"..etc.
>
> This has been bothering me for quite some time, that 'walking on eggshells' feeling I get here
>
> violetteWell, people can be like eggshells. And someone could be blocked for saying "poison" instead of "medication", but probably not for "most" instead of "some".
I know it can seem like a lot of rules. Like how I imagine golf. Use your arms. Don't use your wrists. Align your shoulders and your hips. Transfer your weight. Don't grip the club too tight. Don't grip the club too loose. It must take a lot of mental energy!
But if your goal is fruitful discussion, you want others to hear you. And if you "appease" them (don't turn them off), they're more likely to hear you.
--
> I can NOT like something AND adapt to it. Adaption can come in many forms.... to include avoiding.
>
> Glydin 2010Maybe you've developed a new skill? Good work! :-)
Bob
"a brilliant and reticent Web mastermind" -- The New York Times
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:951974
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100321/msgs/952665.html