Posted by Nadezda on June 21, 2009, at 18:25:21
Maybe if we could communicate more supportively about block--or at least figure out what, exactly is so painful about blocks--, each of us individually wouldn't feel so bad about them. Part of what's bad is feeling that people don't like or value us, or that we looked down on-- for me, anyway. That I've been "bad" and everyone must be thinking that I;m so to speak an insensitive j**k, too aggressive, arrogant, harsh, or otherwise mean and unkind. Maybe, though, if we talked through what blocks mean to us, and how we see people who've been blocked, at least we could feel that while we may have hurt someone, temporarily, we're not pariahs.
I find that the worst part about a block is that I can't be reassured that I'm still part of the community, and that people still are able to respect or want my participation. Now, of course, people may be angry or offended or put off by me-- or by some people-- or some people occasionally-- but realistically we all have the feeling at times that we've haven't been sufficiently kind or insightful-- and that others will read our posts and think badly of us. Maybe I should speak for myself and say that I, at least, feel that way.
It's just, for me, that a block or PBC reinforces that not only am I disliking myself at that moment- but others may be disliking me too.
Maybe if we realized that we're all in this together-- and that when others get blocked we feel a lot of empathy and are looking forward-- generally-- to the person's return-- it would mitigate the hurtfulness of the block.
I do wish the chat were more active-- because that's one way that blocked people can still be in touch. I know some people don't like chat-- but still-- at least it is a place to reconnect.
And I know that some of us aren't entirely fond of some others of us-- or find our posts frustrating or not sympatico-- I guess I sort of feel that that itself is hard to accept-- somehow-- irrationally-- but these are things we could work on, and feel stronger about-- rather than being driven away from a place that has meaning.
Maybe also we could figure out how better to support one another when someone is blocked, or we're concerned that someone may be blocked.
Just rambling, I guess. I just can't figure out why blocks are so hurtful-- to me, anyway-- when I'm pretty self-critical and feel that I posted the wrong thing frequently anyway.
Nadezda
poster:Nadezda
thread:902488
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090529/msgs/902488.html