Posted by twinleaf on June 2, 2009, at 17:55:18
In reply to Bob: Now, do the right thing and unblock Twinleaf » Dr. Bob, posted by stellabystarlight on April 22, 2009, at 19:17:53
> Bob,
>
> Now...do the right thing and unblock Twinleaf.
>
> Please!!!!!
>
> I know you're a busy man, but please read all the threads that's led to her blocks.
> I feel the reasons for her blocks are inconsistent at best.
>
> She is a fine person who's genuinely helped many here, including myself.
> She was an asset here!
>
> I am shocked by what I have witnessed here, and saddened by the loss of safety here.
> Also, the loss of fondness for you and babble.
>
> I'm absolutely sickened by the amount of pain she must be going through...(((sorry Twinleaf))).
>
> Please, Bob...undo this wrong.
>
> Stellabystarlight
>
Thanks so much Stella- I really did, and do, appreciate your support.I'd like to state once again my own conviction that I was blocked for three months for reasons which were clearly irrelevant and unimportant. I was not even given a warning so that I would know when the blocks were coming. I know for sure that I never said anything which hurt another poster here; my comments were about anonymous third parties, unknown to any of us, and I was mentioning them only to illustrate points that I felt were important- in one case, that a poster under unusual stress in her personal life should be treated with understanding and leniency rather than being abruptly blocked; in the second case, it was to illustrate how the rules had become so detailed that they coud be used to play a mean kind of game- hurting someone on purpose while staying within the verbal civility guidelines.
It is clear to me that the real reason I was blocked is because I pointed out serious weaknesses in the way this site is run. By blocking me, no-one needed to address these issues, and they didn't. But problems which are not addressed don't disappear. I am going to mention them one more time, and I hope that this time there will be some intelligent and cooperative discussion about them. They are: 1) not using flexibility and compassion for posters under severe stress, 2) elaborating the rules to such an extent that they can be misused to hurt others, and 3) rapidly increasing the block length of posters like me because the administrator does not happen to like what we say.
Blocks hurt a lot, and unjust, excessively long ones hurt far more, and require a lot of time in therapy to recover from. I have not seen anyone, other than a number of our therapists, address this central issue.
This was once one of the few places online where I felt free and safely held, and I valued the site very much for that. But once you have been blocked as severely as I was, it's impossible to feel that way again. If I were in Bob's place, I would try to value and respect the presence of each poster as much as possible, and would never use escalating blocks in a punitive manner. as he did to me. I'm not even sure whether blocks are necessary at all. I personally think that if someone is given a chance to rethink something excessive that they've said, 99% of the time they will gladly do so. They want to remain part of this community. I believe that would be much more in keeping with what this site is supposed to be: a forum for support, communication, friendship and information for persons suffering from, and recovering from, emotional illnesses. These are all people you should want to be especially careful not to hurt, Bob.
poster:twinleaf
thread:892091
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090529/msgs/899097.html