Posted by okydoky on August 7, 2008, at 10:02:06
I was not sure where to post this. The original post is here: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20080719/msgs/842334.htmlFrom Policies see:
http://www.kalimunro.com/article_conflict_online.htmlChoose whether or not you want to respond
You do have a choice, and you dont have to respond. You may be too upset to respond in the way that you would like, or it may not be worthy of a response. If the post is accusatory or inflammatory and the persons style tends to be aggressive or bullying, the best strategy is to ignore them.Assume that people mean well, unless they have a history or pattern of aggression
Everyone has their bad days, gets triggered, reacts insensitively, and writes an email without thinking it through completely. It doesnt mean that they dont have good intentions.
On the other hand, some people pick fights no matter how kind and patient you are with them. They distort what you say, quote you out of context, and make all sorts of accusations all to vilify and antagonize you. Don't take the "bait" by engaging in a struggle with them - they'll never stop. Sometimes, the best strategy is to have nothing more to do with someone.We are doing ourselves, this board and perhaps the person posting a disservice each and every time one of us responds to a post that we interpret as intending an uncivil or provocative tone, even if our buttons have been pushed.
Most times the only purpose the interaction serves is that of the provocateur.
The only instance where this could be problematic is if the poster is a deputy.
Extraneous stuff:For brevities sake: All statements are presumed to start with, I feel. For instance I feel we are doing
Tone: Serious, honest, without malice.
Purpose/Intent: To suggest Dr Bob, in all his wisdom, has provided answer to questions I read many times on the administration board about civility
Projections/Transference: My own personal life experience which makes this seemingly unresolved issue painful for me.
Meaning: (As best I understand meaning) I have made every attempt to take great care and be explicit expressions my tone, meaning, and intent utilizing my best skills in communicating.
I realize nothing I have posted here has any likelihood of being original. As questions of how to address posts interpreted as having provocative tone come up regularly I saw no downside to being repetitive.
Respectfully,
oky
poster:okydoky
thread:844770
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20080719/msgs/844770.html