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Re: please rephrase that » twinleaf

Posted by Dr. Bob on March 30, 2008, at 22:31:06

In reply to Re: please rephrase that....., posted by twinleaf on March 30, 2008, at 20:56:35

> > I invariably feel the writers' sarcasm, sense of superiority and intolerance for differing views.

> I don't know how to rephrase it. I made sure it was an "I" message

Thanks for trying, but a true I-statement would say more about how you felt and less about the writer. For example:

> > I invariably feel hurt, inferior, and rejected.

Here's a post from Dinah that goes into more detail:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040112/msgs/320097.html

> When you are considering civility actions, I think it should be important to you to notice who has started these interactions rather than habitually reprimand the recipient of them. If nothing else, it is almost certainly not a good idea to encourage posters who have already endured various kinds of abuse in their early lives to endure further verbal abuse here, and to punish them with PCB;s or blocks if they object. All posters should object to any abuse whatsoever- it's a sign of health and strength on their parts that they do so. If you and your deputies line up solely on the side of punishment and repression, you are not helping anyone, and may well be harming them in their healthy attempts to be appropriately assertive.

I do take into account whether someone's been provoked, but I want posters neither just to endure incivility nor to respond with incivility themselves. I think it would be appropriately assertive to notify me and the deputies and if they want to respond directly, to do so in a civil way.

Bob


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poster:Dr. Bob thread:820526
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20080313/msgs/820812.html