Posted by Fivefires on February 25, 2007, at 15:21:34
In reply to :( i'm too your friend (nm) » Fivefires, posted by karen_kay on February 25, 2007, at 10:18:17
Ohhh ... I know that now kk! I didn't understand.
Now I think it's because we're prob' on two different levels of thought. (I'm bumbling around trying to say we don't know one another till we've walked in their shoes.)
Communication is difficult w/ all 'you', and I know 'I', do or don't have going on in our lives.
I'm, to be very honest, desperately lonely, yet frozen like a deer in headlights. And get a load of this. I don't think most men are good enough for me! Yeah. I know! It sounds like I think I'm a freakin' goddess. But still that thought is here and keeps me from letting anyone in.
And maybe I feel some 'jealousy', hearing from a woman who has a man w/ them, standing beside them as best they can through thick and thin.
The ones I've had began to head for the door if I showed signs of imperfection. They looked good on the outside but on the inside they were looking for another mother. So that doesn't say much for them. And yet I mourn them? That's something I'm beginning 2 realize is ridiculous! I didn't lose much.
And me, well, I'm may think highly of myself in some areas, but as far as maturity, I'm a bit naive and emotionally somewhat childish at times, I guess. For example, often I find myself wondering 'why am I alone'??? So, fair is fair. It would need to be a strong man w/ a pretty empty plate to stay with me also.
Things in my life went further south (nearly at the speed of light) when my father passed away 3yrs ago. He must have filled the 'I am lovable' void.
What it comes down to is I don't like being alone. I'm struggling to come to grips w/ this or change my life somehow.
sincerely, 5f
poster:Fivefires
thread:735853
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20070123/msgs/736130.html