Posted by Dr. Bob on January 19, 2007, at 20:30:09
In reply to Re: defending oneself » Dr. Bob, posted by Karen44 on January 18, 2007, at 20:54:35
> > > I wish you would have intervened sooner then, and I would not have felt the need to defend myself.
> >
> > Sorry about not being here before. But it's offense, not defense, that's the issue...
>
> And what about the "offense" of others????It's fine to give others feedback as long as it's constructive. It tends to be more constructive if you put things in terms of what the other person might do better rather than what they did "wrong". And it tends to be more conducive to harmony to talk about how you feel than what someone else did, for example, to use an I-statement like "I feel put down by what you said" instead of a you-statement like "you're so arrogant". But don't just word the latter as the former, as in "I feel Dr. Bob has gone overboard". :-)
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Posters -- especially new ones -- tend to prefer friendly reminders from other posters to official notices from me or the deputy administrators. The key to friendly reminders is being friendly, or at least civil.
If you'd like to notify me and the deputy administrators, please don't do so in a post, that might lead them to feel accused. Instead, use that button.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#help-enforce
I'm sorry you're blocked right now,
Bob
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:724203
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20061228/msgs/724203.html