Posted by SLS on December 29, 2006, at 11:40:24
In reply to Re: clarification for SLS - trigger I think., posted by madeline on December 29, 2006, at 10:01:40
Hi Maddie.
Thanks for clarifying.
I'll have to think about that for awhile.
- Scott
> I think that the ability of posters to discuss suicide ideation and seek support to fight that ideation is a valuable component of babble. A lot of posters, including me, have received this support and it has really helped to move them toward a more hopeful place.
>
> However, when you allow this kind of discussion you also open the door for all kinds of abuse of that support.
>
> I think this kind of abuse is most acute when it is reference to the behavior of other posters or even the routine administration of the board.
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> For instance, I think it is appropriate for a poster to say that "you know, I feel very triggered when people don't do/say/act in the way that I want and I need some help working through this"
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> You see, that post elicits support and help from the other posters. No one feels put down or responsible for the way the poster is reacting. In fact, the door is opened for them to help the other poster.
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> What I think is not okay is when a poster says "What you said/did made me feel like committing suicide"
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> This is not a post asking for help, it makes people feel accused and directly responsible for the way that person feels. I don't think anyone could argue it is a not so subtle form of manipulation.
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> To me, it makes the other posters feel very hurt, unsafe, taken advantage of and coerced.
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> Also a characteristic of this form of communication is that it tends to escalate and repeat until the desired behaviour from people is achieved.
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> To me, threatening suicide in order to elicit a behaviour from someone clearly falls well below the civility requirements of babble and yet, to me, I haven't seen it addressed by the the powers that be (although it may have been).
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> If the powers agree with me, I would like to see a policy explicitly stated (restated) that covers suicide threats in reponse to other posters. I would also like to see the specific adminstrative action that could result from this kind of "offense".
>
> Now, having said all this, I will add a caveat. It may allow people to completely write off my concerns as specific to me, or just as a function of some deficit on my part. My mother was the queen of this kind of coercion. Everything I said or did would lead to a suicide threat on her part - leading me to suspect that one day I would just finally kill my mother by simply being around.
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> That kind of responsiblity is simply too much for anyone to bear.
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> It may not be possible, but I would simply like to be free from this on babble.
>
> Maddie
poster:SLS
thread:716057
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20061228/msgs/717266.html