Posted by Dr. Bob on December 24, 2006, at 23:03:15
In reply to Re: drop in center » Dr. Bob, posted by muffled on December 23, 2006, at 23:41:20
> Hmmmm, these people, some of them anyway, are pretty messed, yet they CAN toe the line pretty much, cuz they want to be able to come there.
Thanks for explaining more. So one factor is how important the group is to the particular person...
> There HAVE been instances of bans for long times, but that is for really 'out there' behavior.
What counts as really out there?
> Frequently, probably daily, or multi times a day, we catch 'stuff' early and are able to say, 'if you can't chill out, you gonna out for the rest of the day'(like a pbc), and you know what, it works ALOT of the time.....
I think it works a lot of the time here, too. How often are people "blocked" at your center?
> We are NOT brainless Bob, we don't need an overprotective Daddy to be intervening everytime there is some slight problem.
>
> I have kids, they fight, I DON'T go intervening everytime, I let them sort it out on their own
>
> sometimes I DO have to intervene, but not in such a way as to make them feel they bad kids.Some people need more protection than others. And I don't intervene because I think anyone's brainless. How many kids do you have? Would it be different if you had a whole classroom? I think the size of the group is another factor. And I'd be happy to intervene in a different way if it would be less likely to make posters feel they're bad people.
There are similarities between this and a family, too, but I think people need to be careful about wishes or expectations that are more family-like and less drop in center-like...
> And the thing I have found, is that just taking the time to talk to people, and honestly point out the whys of it all, makes a huge difference.
> I can see as there's a difficulty on internet as you can't see how a body is responding to what you are saying and so gown down the road that 'fits' that person...although I think there's lots of 'regulars' that you could proly have some idea as how to best approach things...
>
> So we don't just cut them off. We leave a door open to them. And they can send someone in to the center and someone will come out to talk to them if they calmed down. Don't mean they gonna get in that day, but at least they can feel they HAVE BEEN FAIRLY and HONESTLY HEARD.Do they all in fact feel they've been fairly and honestly heard?
Unfortunately, I don't always have the time to talk to people myself. Maybe that's one way other posters, maybe especially regulars, could help?
Hmm, right now, when someone's blocked from posting, they're also blocked from babblechat. Would it be better to leave that door open?
Bob
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:715306
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20061202/msgs/716238.html