Posted by Jakeman on June 22, 2006, at 21:53:58
In reply to Re: Expressing yourself truthfully » Jakeman, posted by gardenergirl on June 22, 2006, at 21:25:34
Gardengirl,
All of your points are well taken and appreciated. And I appreciate your sharing what's going on in your head. In my head, I am gun shy about posting. Sometimes if I feel strongly about a subject I'll go ahead and post while fearing a block. I'm simple minded and like to have rules clearly spelled out. I think too often posters get stuck in the quick-sand of unclear rules. I could be that Dr. Bob planned it this way so to give him more decision power. I don't know. Right now I need to back off because it's just too much hassle.
warm regards, Jake
> Well....saying "this is only my opinion" is not likely to be enough if the way someone expresses their opinion is not civil. Nor is adding a disclaimer. And using "I" statements is a very specific way of expressing oneself that does not, at least in my case, come naturally and effortlessly. So I agree, it can be much more difficult and/or "fraught with peril" than what I would call "normal everyday conversing".
>
> And I admit that there are things that no matter how hard someone tries, it just isn't going to be acceptable to say. For example, saying "widely known person X whom a signficant proportion of folks may have voted for in the last election is a turd" is pretty much not going to be civil no matter how accurate it may or may not be. Similarly, I cannot say, "In my opinion, widely known person X etc." I cannot say, "I feel widely known person X, etc." because that is not a feeling, it's an opinion.
>
> But it is possible to say something like, "I'm troubled by the deaths of 2500 US soldiers. I have not been able to find an explanation or reason for this that I can live with."
>
> Does *my feeling* of being troubled by something in any way infringe upon anyone else's views or feelings? Does *my inability* to find something I can *feel comfortable with" mean that there are no explanations that could be acceptable or that if others are not troubled by what I am troubled by that I think that's bad in some way?
>
> I think that a key element to this is that posting an opinion seems much more likely to be something that others could feel hurt or put down by, but posting a feeling is really not something that anyone can realistically take on themselves.
>
> That said, I do not for one moment discount feeling fearful about posting. It can be quite fraught with potential peril, even if posting about something one considers pretty inane, such as, oh I don't know, f*rting.
>
> I suppose my earnestness about this issue is a lot about trying to suggest that perhaps there is more freedom in posting than might be apparent if one can adapt the message to appropriate "I" statements and so on. But then, that earnestness and desire to help is most likely one of my own little "near-pathologies" in that it could very well be much more about me than about anyone I might be trying to help.
>
> And boy am I disclosing a lot of what's going on in my head lately.
>
> gg
poster:Jakeman
thread:659828
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060622/msgs/660356.html