Posted by muffled on June 20, 2006, at 23:50:07
In reply to Re: What folks have been saying, posted by Dr. Bob on June 20, 2006, at 22:26:19
>Thanks for the tweaks. Any suggestions on how to address questions better?
****Bless your heart I'm sure your a busy man, but maybe answers that are more than one line??????????
> And I would add 3) Many are not happy with the blocking policy in general.
>Sure, but I see that as related to 1) and 2)...*****1.friend thing 2. powerlessness
Gaaaaaackkkkkkkkkk. Manoman you are @#$%. YES, we FEEL hurt and distressed for our friends, and we FEEL powerless. WHEN we(or they) are blocked.HOWEVER its not JUST that. Bob you seem to be fixated on that particular aspect of it.
>The goal is to have it be supportive here.
****We also feel FEAR, that we MAY be blocked, over something relatively trivial, at the whim of Bob.You can go online and make a post and be shocked to find your blocked over a stupid word that noone actually cares about(for example). That doesn't make me feel supported. We DO try to support each other, and WE are very often willing to give the person the benefit of the doubt on alot of stuff, cuz we are TRYING TO BE SUPPORTIVE. We know how much blocks hurt. Alot of people here have problems with self esteem, abandonment, rejection etc, and I REALLY don't think blocking is always the answer. Some of the blocks have been ridiculous and we have TRIED so HARD to try and help you to understand, but you don't :-(
We are human, we will have moments, we will err, but blocking should ONLY be for serious OBVIOUSLY harmful interactions. "Lighter" infractions, for want of a better word, should just be warned. Give the person some time to backpeddal and understand their error and LEARN. Blocking teaches by FEAR. Many of us have learned too much about being obedient thru fear. IT IS WRONG. We should be given correction in kinder ways, and if we are still creating HAVOC, THEN a block is in order. More pbc's AS NEEDED only, and WAY, WAY, less blocks.>Maybe a related issue is that of a more democratic structure?
***We have spoken, time and again, but Bob doesn't hear us :-(
No democracy. See this post:http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060525/msgs/658093.html
We presented all our info, but it didn't matter. Bob doesn't hear or understand. Bob wanted MORE, or no reconsidering. We said it all, what more could we say? No democracy. Alex was blocked cuz she was spazzing bout blocks, they were freaking her and she was getting no response from Bob and she was escalating in utter frustration.
Can you let us in on why the one liners?
Can you tell us or point us in the direction of info on better ways of communicating with you that you will understand better?
Do you tend to respond more to anger, or kindness?(I'd say the first, which is pretty human of you)
I'm just tired and at a loss right now......
Bob I want to beleive your an ok guy....but sometimes I get back to feeling like a lab rat being observed as it responds to various stimuli :-(
Thanks anyways.
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:646675
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060525/msgs/659556.html