Posted by gardenergirl on May 13, 2006, at 9:27:49
In reply to Re: verne's block, posted by Estella on May 13, 2006, at 4:00:53
Even if civility is "incited", it's still up to us as posters to manage our reactions and to frame our posts within the civility guidelines. If that becomes harder to do because of stronger emotions, then we need to have a way to cope with that, whether that means stepping away from the computer, writing what you want to say and sending it to a friend or deleting it, using a civility buddy, talking it over with someone, etc.
Even when we're hurt, it's up to us to remain civil. It's a behavior choice. Some may be more skilled in this behavior than others, that's true. But there are compensatory and adaptive behavior choices available.
Managing our own behavior is within our locus of control. Getting the rules changed here is not. If you look at what's effective in achieving a desired result, I think paying attention to what is within us to change versus what we don't have control over might be more effective. Assuming the goal is reducing blocks.
This doesn't mean we can't try to influence what is not within our control. But all we can do is try to influence. We have no control over external outcomes.
So, assuming a goal is to see fewer blocks here, which way seems more effective? Of course, I'm assuming the goal, and of course I could be mistaken.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:636780
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060412/msgs/643403.html