Posted by greywolf on April 9, 2006, at 0:47:29
In reply to Re: i tried » greywolf, posted by muffled on April 8, 2006, at 23:31:29
> Greywolf, you sound wonderfully well adjusted.
> I'm not.
> I'm rather mentally f*cked over.
> I find blocks shocking and very ostracisuing and hurtful
> Stupid, stupid me.
> I goto get a life I guess.
> Got to get over being f*cked up.
> Yup.
> Then I don't goto be scared.
> Mebbe this is a place for well adjusted people only.
> But I didn't think that was the case.
> I'm not perfect.
> I got a temper.
> Sometimes I get lost .
> But I don't think i should be ostracized for that.
> Sigh
> Nice to meet ya,
> Guess you not glad to meet me.
> Muffled--Of course I'm glad to have met you, Muffled. And the idea of me being well-adjusted would be amusing to anyone who knows me. I've been struggling with BP and some ridiculous OCD problems for a long, long time, so well-adjusted is not an adjective commonly thrown my way.
My point, made with no intention of disrespect to you or anyone else, is that the issue of blocks and lengths of blocks seems to have taken on a life of its own--to an extent that one could say it defeats what I believe to be a necessary amount of moderation.
Remember, I deal with BP, and often find myself in rapid transitions from short term (a few days) euphoric states to long term periods (2 weeks) of very severe depression. I have been advised by psychiatrists that I am treatment resistant and that the only alternative I have is ECT, and I just can't bring myself to do it.
Consequently, I consciously seek moderation in my behavior, including my reactions to others. I am all too often not successful, causing pain to people I care about (as well as myself, but that's a secondary concern). In my manic stages, moderation sometimes helps prevent me from those "life of the party" behaviors that everyone loves while I'm making an *ss of myself, and never let me forget about after the party's over.
But I find moderation is most important when I'm at rock bottom and feel like people are giving me that extra kick to the head. I've had to learn and force myself to remember that there are times when things I want, feel I deserve, or simply depend on just won't be there--and unless I moderate my negative response, more misery will ensue.
I view blocking in those terms. I understand participation in this site is of significant importance for some, while it is merely a diversion for others. In either case, I think it's important to accept that participation in any community carries a risk that things will not always go as you prefer, and that sometimes you will disagree with the way the community's rules are enforced. That's completely understandable, and my main point was simply that it may be wise to build some room into your expectations that will allow you to more happily absorb events that you believe are unfair or undeserved.
I don't call that well-adjusted on my part. I call it misery avoidance. :)
poster:greywolf
thread:630292
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060317/msgs/630790.html