Posted by Larry Hoover on March 9, 2006, at 10:33:13
In reply to I'll go away, and let you all mull it over, posted by Larry Hoover on March 8, 2006, at 20:14:50
> without me.
>
> I'll look in in a few weeks'/months' time. I'll leave babblemail on.
>
> LarGod, you guys aren't going to trust a thing I say, considering how I often I change my mind, eh?
So much has taken place, in so short a time.
And, I'm back again, to being me. What do I mean by that?
I've almost got it in real time, almost. Which means I've almost got the hang of it.
I entered into discussion over something that has a particular magnitude in my life. I know it is true of others, as well. And I meant to speak rationally, and convincingly, about a process, an experience, that really is difficult to even frame in words.
Somewhere, along that path of discussion, I was joined by an indignant version of myself, but I didn't note his arrival. For a period of time, I was speaking with two voices simultaneously, but I, the one I call me, remained unaware of this. The me version would write something, and then I'd go to edit it. And I think that's where the indignant me snuck through, into print. During the edit. Sharp remarks and embellishments, unfiltered.
What you might observe in this thread, is me coming to realize what I'm saying now. Babble is an environment which encourages personal growth. I want it to be better. I want it to be safer. And you watched me do something I have never before done. You watched me grow.
I didn't do it with sensitivity to others. Ironic, considering my own topic of discussion. But sadly true.
So, I offer my utterly sincere and unconditional apology to anyone who was offended by my hyperbole, simile, metaphor, and just plain rhetorical assault upon your sensibilities.
Little Lar, or whatever you want to call the indignant one (teenager?), is no longer a secret to me. It may seem like an absurdity to you that I didn't know, as I'm sure you've seen him around before. <shrug> But, the thing is, I can't go back to a state of ignorance. The secret is out.
About this thread. About triggers. Please, do not think of me. Think about triggers. I've seen already that you do. I see the caring already.
And, I'm sincere, nothwithstanding that this is maybe the fourth time I've posted similarly, I do need to go.
TTFN,
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:614568
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060225/msgs/617887.html