Posted by Tamar on March 4, 2006, at 21:54:21
In reply to Re: I'm sorry Dr. Bob, posted by Deneb on March 4, 2006, at 0:20:56
Deneb,
I’m sure it’s OK to love Dr Bob. I’m certain it doesn’t make him feel uncomfortable or unhappy.
I reckon the important thing is to think about why you love Dr Bob so much. A few days ago you agreed with the idea that he is safe (if I remember correctly). Maybe safety is especially important to you.
Your love thing is not at all insane. On the contrary, it is very sensible. I think it’s a good thing for you to be able to feel love. And there are lots of different kinds of love, or facets to love. There are lots of questions you could ask yourself. For example:
1. Do you want Dr Bob as a lover or as a father figure, or perhaps both (or neither)?
2. If you could do just about anything, how would you express your love for Dr Bob?
3. Do you feel that loving Dr Bob is a substitute for loving people in real life?
4. If you could substitute Dr Bob for one person in your real life, who would it be? Would you prefer to have Dr Bob instead of your father? Your uncle? A professor? A brother or cousin? What do you want most from him?
5. If Dr Bob had flaws, what could you live with? What couldn’t you live with?Of course, my questions could be completely pointless. They’re based in my experience rather than in theory.
Nevertheless, I believe you’re completely normal. Don’t fret about your feelings. You’re in good company…
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:615090
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060225/msgs/616029.html